A Blog Post Wherein I Get Over Myself

I should start off with the admission that this post will probably be shorter than my previous ones, largely because I can only bear so much self-inflicted shame before I have to shut off my computer, pour a huge glass of wine, and retreat to the shelter of my couch to watch a marathon of “Law and Order: SVU,” which is always on some cable channel or other and if that’s not proof that we live in a benevolent universe, then I don’t know what is…

Okay, so I have to own up to something of which I am not proud…

Let me tell you a little story…about me…being insufferable.

In Which I Get Over Myself... a confessional on HeidiMastrogiovanni.com
The scene of my epic breakdown of grace and decorum was one of the meetings of the fabulous book club to which I belong.

It’s called the Roaring Laughter Ladies Book Club. The women in it are among the most wonderful people in my world and in the world. Kind, smart, caring, hilarious, delightful, loyal…you get the idea; you can pretty much fill in any laudatory adjective here and it will apply to them. This is not hyperbole. They rock.

And I was being insufferable in their company…

So this post is, in addition to being a confession, an apology to my lovely friends, who deserve much better than they got from me on that terrible day.

Please imagine that the voice saying these words is using a tone that is smug, sneering, and singsong… In short, all the things you don’t want a voice you are hearing to be.

Needless to say, this is me, gassing on and on at the book club meeting…

 

“I just hate when people use the word ‘read’ as a noun. I hear it all the time. It was a good read. What is that all about? It’s a verb! To read! I hate when people make verbs into nouns! Why does our beautiful language have to change? That’s called evolving? I call it DE-volving!”

 

And then I sat back with a self-righteous, tight little smile, and continued to chug the delicious wine/champagne/vodka (I think it was champagne for me on that particular day) that we always have at our gatherings.

There were a few moments of silence, during which my dear friends were, I suspect and fear, thinking “Jeez, is she a pill, or what?”

And then there was a response, and please forgive me, because I don’t remember who said this… Whichever Roaring Laughter Lady said it, please jump right in and claim your due applause in the Comments section of this post.

“But that happens with ‘walk’ all the time…”

And I froze as soon as I heard that sentence being completed.

Because I immediately realized that I had nothing to say in return…

No possible response…

Because one of the things I love most in the world is walking. I just love taking a walk. It’s one of the great pleasures of my life. I love the joy and relaxation and re-energizing that the word “walk” conveys. As a verb. And as a noun. And I have used it both ways. For decades. Without giving it a second thought.

And so I would just like to apologize for being such a pill. I’m duly humbled and truly sorry.

I sincerely hope this post has been a good read for you. And, I swear, I didn’t even wince while I typed that…

But I still think that saying/writing/thinking “try and [do something]” instead of “try to [do something]” is clumsy and lazy and just plain wrong, and always will be…

But…

I think I may be forced to realize that I will be reading and hearing “try and” far more than I will be reading and hearing “try to” and maybe I’m fighting a losing battle here and maybe I should just get over myself with that one, too…

I think I even saw “try and” in The New Yorker, a.k.a. my standard reference on all things bright and gorgeous about our fabulous language, but I’m not 100% sure…

Heidi Mastrogiovanni - Talkin' about stuff she's written' n' stuff - HeidiMastrogiovanni.comMaybe our beautiful language has evolved to the point where “try and” is not only correct, it’s more correct…

Maybe

I’ll try to keep you posted on my evolving thoughts about that subject…

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